The Upside to Uncertainty
by BruHaeven
Summary: In which Reno acts distant, Yuffie worries A LOT and we find out just what kind of shampoo Vincent uses. Oh, and there's also lots of jumping to conclusions on Yuffie's part, too. .YxR.


Disclaimer: All things you recognize belong to Square. I just borrow them and warp them to my amusement... muahaha.

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I've never been big on worry. It's just never really been my thing, ya know? I'm more of an "oh-so-things-seem-uncertain-well-let's-go-steal-some-materia-and-then-everything-will-be-right-with-the-world-again" kind of girl. And even on the rare occasions when I _do_ feel that horribly, awful, sickening tinge of gawd-forbidden WORRY beginning to creep into the pit of my belly and start tying everything up in knots, I never let it get to me. Ya know? I just kinda shove it out of my mind, and focus on more important things, like what new ways can I come up with to annoy Vinnie…. Or how much padding would I need to stuff in my bra to have knockers like Teef…. Or how I might possibly be able to steal Knights of the Round from good old Cloudy-Poo.

HOWEVER. There are times, few and very, very, _very_, veryveryvery far between, when that little niggling, nibbling, and some other word that starts with n, ends with ling and has a repeated consonant in the middle, feeling of worry sneaks its icky way into my stomach and sets up camp. I was going through one of those times.

Reno was being distant. And not in his normal, I-just-had-to-assassinate-someone-in-cold-blood-and-I'm-going-to-be-all-moody-and-distant distancing way. No. This was something altogether different and scary and little old Yuffster (me) couldn't handle it. See, his weirdness after having to do cruel and Turkish things, I knew how to deal with. Give him space for a few days, then start nagging him about it, trying to get him to talk, piss him off until he finally explodes so that he can take the emotion out on something or someone (usually me), have hot makeup sex and then go on with life. And for those who think his career choice should bother me, I say "Excuse me, Mr. or Ms. Pansy-Pants, I'm a fully blooded ninja, and I've probably killed as much or more than Mr. Redheaded, Blue-suited Turkey."

But none of that was the point of the matter. Reno was being distant in a new and different and scary way, and I had no way of knowing how to cope. At first, I went back to all my habitual methods. But once Vinnie discovered me replacing his shampoo with Nair (he uses Garnier Fructis, just by the by), he was _way_ more angry than annoyed. Not that the actual way he expresses said emotions are very different: he pinches the bridge of his nose, closes his eyes and shakes his head for both… but when he's angry he does this sharp little sigh thing, just one quick exhale out through his nose. That's how you tell the difference.

Anyway, after that I was forced to move onto the whole, making-my-chest-look-as-big-as-Teef's thing… but since the week before I'd already discovered the solution to that conundrum (I'd need two perfectly same-sized cantaloupes, just in case you were wondering), it looked like I'd have to skip right to trying to steal KOTR from Spiky… who was conveniently out on a delivery and had taken the beautiful, ruby orb of Materia with him…. gawd.

It looked like it was back to the drawing board for me. Now, why didn't I just talk to Reno about his newfound love of emotional distance from me? Well, I'd already tried that! It had gone over about as well as Sephiroth trying to become One with the Planet.

First of all, I'm normally not one to talk about my problems. I love talking, don't get me wrong, but sitting down and trying to have a mature discussion with someone else? Especially if that someone else is _Reno?_ Come on… there are much more entertaining things I could be doing, like challenging him to a cartwheeling-contest while warking like a Chocobo, or trying out my newest food concoction in Teef's microwave and having to run like hell when it exploded all over the insides and broke the stupid machine and she tried to make ME clean it all up. Pfft… not like that had ever happened or anything…. Gawd.

Anyway, the conversation with Reno had taken place about a week before my trying-to-Nair-Vinnie attempts, and had gone something like this:

"Reno...?" I inquired quietly, poking my head around his bedroom door. I'd gone over to his apartment specifically to have this conversation. The door was unlocked so I just waltzed my sexy little butt right on in. As I peered at him from the doorway I realized he was on the phone, but as soon as he heard my voice he ended the conversation with a jolt and snapped his phone shut.

"Hey, princess… What's goin' on?" His eyes were wary as they landed on my uncertain frame barely inside his room.

"Nothing really…" I scuffed a boot against the rough carpet, considering my next words. "I've been meaning to ask you the same thing for a while now." Eloquence was not usually my thing, right along with worry. At that moment, however, I was too nervous to brazenly just give him a piece of my mind. That would come later…

He was definitely looking guarded now; his eyes didn't have their usual mischievous gleam in their aquamarine depths. "What's that supposed to mean?"

I sighed, and took a small step towards him… trying to somehow bridge the distance. "Did I do something… wrong?" At the quirk of his eyebrow, I continued, "You've just been acting… weird lately. Avoiding me. Distancing yourself. I dunno, Reno... I guess I'm just wondering if I did something to make you mad." I was being so sincere, _painfully_ so. And do you know what he did? He _laughed_. That stupid Turkey had the audacity to laugh!

"Yuffs… I think you're getting worked up over nothing, yo. Is this 'cause I haven't been over to the Seventh Heaven yet today? 'Cause, I've just been kinda busy. I've got other stuff to do then spend the day lounging around in bed with you, no matter how nice that may sound." He threw a wink in at this point, but I felt like his heart wasn't in it. And that's when I started getting mad.

"Reno. This has NOTHING to do with you not coming to the bar today. It has to do with that fact that the past eight, count 'em, EIGHT times I've tried to make plans with you, you've either shot me down without a second thought, or bailed right at the last second. And every time I happen to catch you when you're on the phone, you hang up as SOON as I enter the room and then give me that BULLSHIT innocent look of yours, that wouldn't even fool TIFA who ALWAYS gives people the benefit of the doubt and I'm freaking SICK OF YOUR SHADYNESS. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH YOU?"

I was breathing heavily, my bangs falling into my face and probably looking like crap, and he was standing there, looking at me from across the bed with that irritating, constant, _stupid_ smirk on his face.

"Yuffie…" he began, and then he said the four worst words a man can ever say to their angry girlfriend: "I think you're overreacting."

While I'm not usually a proponent of domestic violence, at that point I just about hurled every throwing star, dagger and random pointed object I had on me into his overly handsome face and then pounded him to a pulp with my bare hands. Instead, I took a deep breath in… and then screamed.

"OVERREACTING? _OVERREACTING?_ GAWD, YOU _ASSHOLE_." And then I turned around and walked out of his apartment, slamming the door behind me. Albeit, not the most articulate thing I could have done, it _did_ get my point across. Later that day, I got a delivery of a dozen white roses at the bar. They were pretty and perfect but still… I would have rather received an apology in person than some stupid flowers that were just going to die within forty-eight hours anyway. The whole distance thing, again.

Obviously, talking had not helped. I'd gone through the requisite states of confusion, determination and anger, now I was simply feeling defeated. And even more defeating was the fact that I couldn't even get any satisfaction from Nairing Vinnie, since he'd caught me in the act.

I hadn't seen Reno since I'd tried talking to him, the only communication being those stupid flowers which now, a week later, were brown and stinky, yet I still kept them sitting in a vase of water on my dresser. Gawd, it was hard work being in love with a jerk. I wished with all my might that I had someone with similar experience to turn to… and then wishing turned into reality. Tifa! She was in love with Cloud, and he could be a right, royal _idiot_ sometimes, along with being a jerk. Flying out of my bedroom, where I had been sitting glumly since dealing with the fallout of Vincent's anger (there wasn't actually that much of a fallout, it was more self-imposed guilt at making him do his little angry snorty-thing), I barreled down the stairs to interrogate Tifa about her dealing-with-jerky-men technique.

"TIFAAAAA! Tifatifatifatifa!" I skidded to a halt right in front of the bar, but not fast enough to stop myself from crashing sidelong into a barstool. Arms windmilling about to keep my balance, I inwardly decided that these past few weeks had definitely not been going well for me. Two strong hands steadied me from behind and I stilled, looking up into a set of very familiar, very amused eyes.

"In a hurry, Princess?" The drawl was familiar too, as was the violently red hair spazzing atop his head. And suddenly, I wasn't interested in pretending to be happy with him, I wasn't interested in joking with him, in seeing his "Princess" and raising him a "Turkey." In place of my usual chin-splitting grin, I frowned right in his stupid face. _That_ would teach him.

I jerked away. "Yes, actually. I need to talk to Tifa about a few things, and it can't wait. Nice of you to stop by for a change, but it's my turn to bail on _you_." I was about to flounce away when he laughed… again!

"That's interesting, 'cause I was here to see Teef too, yo. Funny coincidence, huh?"

I rolled my eyes so far back into my head that I was pretty sure I could almost see my thoughts. "Actually, I don't think it's that funny. And I get first dibs, seeing as _I'm _her best friend, _I _live here and _I_ am not the pile of chocobo dung in this room." And with that, I did flounce away, back into the kitchen where Tifa was going through the newest arrival of inventory for the bar.

"Ti_faaaaaa_, I need your help and we need to talk and it has to be somewhere private 'cause there's a stupid, butthead Turkey waiting to talk to you outside and he's probably gonna eavesdrop 'cause he's a BUTTHEAD and stupid and yeah."

Gawd bless her, Tifa just smiled, took everything in calmly, didn't question my sanity and led me into the backbackback of the kitchen where only a creeper with supersonic hearing (*cough* Vinnie *cough*) would be able to hear our conversation.

"So… why are we hiding from Reno? Last time I checked, he wasn't an enemy anymore. Actually, last time I really checked, you two were madly in love." A small smile was playing across her lips as she said all this, one eyebrow quirked in blatant question.

"Oh, Tifa! It's terrible! I dunno what's going on with him, but I can't take it anymore! Things were going really, really, reallyreally AWESOME for such a long time… I mean, we've been together for two years, ya know? And now all of a sudden, he's distant and moody and he laughs whenever I try to be serious with him and he hangs up the phone whenever I enter a room and cancels all his plans with me and practically avoids me like the plague unless he comes around to mock me or be mean and then he acts like _I'm_ the one who's being weird!"

I suddenly realized with a jolt that my blurry vision wasn't due to the anger coursing through me, but the tears that were peacefully swimming in the corners of my eyes. I blinked them back furiously, shaking my head so hard that the ends of my bandana stung my cheeks. I didn't need to give him the _pleasure_ of making me cry. He certainly didn't deserve it, and I wasn't going to let him have it, even if it was in private.

"I mean… I guess… It's been two years, maybe he's bored… Ya know? But the least he could do is at least end things quickly and painlessly instead of dragging stuff out! It's almost like he wants me to…" My eyes widened as a thought struck me. "That's it…" My gazed honed in on Tifa, sharp with reckoning. "He wants me to end it…. He's too much of a coward to do it himself, and he wants me to end it for him! What a freaking a-hole! My _gaawwwd_."

The martial artist in front of me scrunched up her nose in thought. "Yuffie… I'm sure that's not what he—"

"Of _course_ it is, Teef! What else could it possibly be?" She started to answer but I cut her off again, "Nothing that's what! Oh, Leviathan, you've been such a great help, you're the absolute best friend a ninja-thief could ever ask for!" I hugged her tightly before dashing out of the room, bounding back through the main kitchen and into the bar's seating area. Looking around for a certain, redheaded scumbag, I was partly relieved and partly annoyed to see he had disappeared. Oh well, at least now that I knew what I needed to do, I could just bide my time until he managed to show his pale… pasty…. handsome… oh _hell. _It was going to be hard, but I had to shove those thoughts out of my head if I was to go through with his, my, our plan.

Everything was crystal clear to me now. I needed to break up with Reno.

X.X.X.X.X

I spent the next week locked up in my room, deep in thought. I know, I know, you're thinking since when do I ever get _deep_ in thought? Well, ya big jerk, it happens more often than anyone gives me credit for! In fact, I'm always deep in thought, it's just hard to tell sometimes because I'm extremely good at multi-tasking and can run my mouth a mile a minute as I thoughtfully ponder something else back in the dark recesses of my brain.

Nobody around here gives me any credit. Reno always did before he got into his weird wanting-to-break-up-with-me funk, and I think that's why I started liking him in the first place. Well, that and his hair. I had to find out it's secrets which is how we first started hanging out. I'd let him flirt with me while I was checking out his hair, trying to figure out how he kept it so red and unkempt yet still spiky and sexy. You see, Cloud's hair is no mystery, 'cause I've raided his bathroom cabinet so many times. It takes five kinds of gel mixed together to get the blond height he has. While it's impressive in a way, it would be even more impressive if he didn't need the gel at all. Then he could be like, Super-Spikes! Here to save the daaaayyyy! Or something.

ANYWAY. I was wracking my brain for creative ways to break up with Reno, and subsequently avoiding him like he had been avoiding me. The only time I ever left my room was for meals and to occasionally spar with Tifa behind the bar. Reno came over every night for dinner that week, but even at the dinner table I was preoccupied with my plotting. When he tried to talk to me, I replied with one-word answers, too far away to really pay attention to what was going on. It probably made the whole rest of the table feel awkward, but that wasn't my problem. They had mouths and creativity; they could start their own conversations after all. I think by this point Vinnie had forgiven me for the Nair thing, 'cause I'm pretty sure he kept glancing at me worriedly.

It was like worry had taken over everyone.

I vaguely thought that maybe after I had gone through the required period of singleness after a long-term relationship ended, maybe I could move on to Vinnie. I mean, think about it, that would give me prime access to ways to annoy him. I would learn so much more about him, and could then use that information against him! While maybe not the most conducive way to have a romantic relationship with someone, it sure would be entertaining… nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

And yes, for your information, there is a required period of singleness after any sort of relationship. The longer the relationship, the longer the singles after. Like, a one week relationship probably only requires a few days. When you get into years of togetherness though, it gets much longer. I know the guy code goes by threes. Three weeks if the boyfriend dumps the girlfriend, and three months if the she dumps him, but I think that's only if the boyfriend's friends want to date the now-ex. And gawd-knows Rude, or Tseng of Rufus weren't going to want to date me, so that didn't really apply.

Anyway, I've digressed way too much. So I spent a week planning and plotting and pondering and preparing. And just when I felt I was on the brink of something big and awesome and perfect for breaking up with Reno, he came and interrupted me. The jerk.

The knock on my bedroom door was soft and a little uncertain. At first I thought it was Tifa, coming to make sure I hadn't strung myself up by my bed sheets or somehow melted into a pile of slimy, Yuffie-goo. So I swung the door open, fixing a killer grin on my face to assure her I was alive and well and the exact opposite of slimy. Instead of her concerned face, however, I was met with a shock of red hair and brilliant shiny eyes watching me cautiously. Reno. My eyes narrowed and I did what any sane, loving girlfriend would do when her stupidly distant boyfriend finally decided to willingly grace her with his presence.

I slammed the door in his face.

"Yuffie! Come on!" His voice was startled and pleading and it cracked my determination to ignore him just a tiny bit. But then I remembered he wanted me to break up with him 'cause he was too much of a pansy to do it himself, and my resolved solidified again. So I stayed silent as he knocked on the door again.

"Look, Yuffs, I know I've been being weird lately and I'm sorry… Let me take you out tonight and I can explain everything, okay?"

My mind went into overdrive. This was something I hadn't seen coming… Maybe he didn't really want to break up with me after all… or maybe he had finally decided to do the dirty work himself. I couldn't deny that my curiosity was getting the better of me, and if there's one thing in this world I always yield to, it's my curiosity. So, with a grandiose sigh and a dramatic flounce, I swung the door open and looked up at him haughtily. There was a beat of silence as we looked at each other.

"What time should I be ready?" I spat the words at him. Just because I was curious, didn't mean I was going to go right back to being all submissive and girly and la-la-loving with him. No one makes me worry for three weeks straight and gets out of it unscathed.

"How about around seven?" There was relief in his voice and I narrowed my eyes at him again. He was definitely up to something.

"Sure. See you then."

I closed the door and locked it before he could say anything else. I heard him walking away, down the stairs and then he called up, "Oh, and wear something nice, Princess!"

My brain was still jumping around from thought to thought, but when he said that everything came to a standstill. I literally felt the maniacal gleam fly into my eyes as an evil smirk crept across my face. This was going to be _good_. Reno had no idea what was going to hit him.

I waited until I heard the door chime downstairs signaling Reno's departure and then I threw open my door and sprinted down the stairs.

"TIFAAAAA! Tifatifatifatifa!" I tripped on the bottom stair, somersaulting across the room and landing in a graceless lump of Yuffie at Vinnie's metal-booted feet. I grinned up at him crookedly. "Heya, Vinnie… See Teef around anywhere?"

At that moment she appeared from the kitchen, and I leaped up, dragging her outside and shouting behind us, "SORRY ABOUT TRYING TO NAIR YOUR HEAD VINNIE! I PROMISE I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING BY IT! NYUK, NYUK, NYUK!"

Tifa was used to my antics by this point in our friendship, and didn't seem to mind me dragging her out to her truck without any real explanation. When I finally _did_ explain what my intentions were, she sighed a little bit but smiled nonetheless and agreed to help me.

We were going shopping. For a kickass outfit. To make Reno rue the day he ever wanted me to break up with him.

As soon as we reached the fanciest women's apparel store that we could possibly find in Edge, I immediately starting piling clothes into my arms as well as Tifa's.

"Yuffie… are you really sure all this is necessary?" Tifa's voice was slightly muffled by the dressing room door, but I could still catch her tone. It was her I'm-not-so-sure-Yuffie's-sanity-is-still-intact tone. I chuckled darkly and rubbed my hands together, probably not helping my case very much.

"Tifa, what if Cloud wanted to break up with you but was too much of a pansy to do it himself so he tried everything he possibly could to get you to do it first? Wouldn't you be acting kinda like how I am?"

I could almost hear her rubbing her temples. "Are you even one-hundred percent positive that's what's going on? I mean, maybe he really has just been busy. Or man-PMSing or something."

I whooped with laughter. "Tifa. I love you. You totally just accused Reno of man-PMSing which is a term I never thought I'd ever hear you say. I'm finally rubbing off on you after all these years!"

I thought I heard her mutter, "Leviathan help us all," but maybe that was just my imagination.

You see, there's a method to my madness. If a girl is going to either break up with her boyfriend, or be broken up with, she's going to want to look her best. Just because one eligible male doesn't want you, doesn't mean you have to wallow and look like crap, because how will you get another potential mate that way? You won't, that's for darn sure. It's a Darwinian thing… or something.

Even with all her exasperation with me, Tifa still looked shell-shocked when I strutted out in what I was pretty sure was going to be my break-up outfit. Then she grinned, and I knew I definitely had a winner. Reno had no idea what I had in store for him.

X.X.X.X.X

Seven o'clock rolled around fairly quickly, and I was putting the finishing touches on my appearance when Tifa called up to me that Reno had arrived.

Now, I'm not normally one for makeup and dresses and high heels and all that shenanigans. But sometimes, every once in a while, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. And believe me, when the time came, The Great-Ninja-Yuffie-Empress-of-the-World-and-Universe knew how to _do_.

I emerged from my room and began to descend the staircase, obviously walking slowly, because the last time I had tried to go down downstairs I had ended up in a rumpled pile at Vinnie's feet. Now was not the time for that nonsense. I was not _walking _down the stairs, I was _descending_. There's a BIG difference. You see, walking is casual, normal… sometimes clumsy. Descending is anything but. It's like in all those stupid cheesy movies where the girl comes downstairs in the fancy dress with the fancy hair and throughout the whole first part of the movie you thought she was ugly only now she's all done up and beautiful and she _descends_. Like that. Only, no one has ever dared call me ugly… other than Reno but that was before he was supposedly in love with me and I beat him to pulp after he said it.

ANYHOO, I _descended _the stairs and I'm pretty sure Reno almost shit himself he was so surprised. I was strapped into a little (as in cut up to where I was afraid to sit down the wrong way) black corseted number, cinched to within an inch of my life (which was okay, because it meant I actually had some cleavage for once) with the highest, strappiest, sparkliest pair of stilettos I'd ever seen (or worn for that matter). I'm pretty sure with those shoes on, my legs where twelve miles long. Tifa had helped me pull my short hair into a messy knot at the back of my head with my bangs fringing around my face. I had expertly applied makeup to bring out my big eyes and pouty lips. And before you start wondering, yes, I am a makeup expert. Geez, stop acting so surprised about these things. Ninjas must be skilled in all ways of life. DUH.

The point is, I looked smoking. You may ask why I was going through so much effort to look great for Reno who had been a jerk to me and I was dead certain was going to end our relationship by the end of the night. Well, other than what I already explained about having to look awesome even if you're getting dumped, I still loved the big idiot. I wanted to look good for him, for him. Even if he wanted to break up. Because, here's the thing. I didn't want our relationship to die, but I didn't know what else to do. He obviously wasn't satisfied or happy or whatever anymore. I'd tried ignoring it, I'd tried getting answers out of him, and now I was just tired of trying. It didn't mean I'd stopped loving him. Even after he broke up with me or I broke up with him, I'd still love him.

But loving him obviously hadn't helped with his distancing thing, so I focused on my plan of action.

As I said before, I'm pretty sure Reno nearly died when he saw how amazingly awesome I looked. His mouth was hanging open and I swore I saw a little bit of drool starting to dribble out. He pulled himself together, made some amount of hurried small talk and then dragged me out to his car. I don't remember much other than his hand at the small of my back and the sniggers and wolf-whistles that echoed from inside the bar as we left.

The drive was quiet. I didn't feel like interrogating him yet, and he seemed content just to rest his one hand on my very exposed thigh while the other handled the steering wheel with expert skill. For those of you who've never seen Reno handle a helicopter or a car, it's sexy as hell. The guy's got great hands, heheheh.

However, as great as his hands were and as nice as it felt to have one of them chilling out on my leg, I knew this wasn't going to be a nice little evening with my boyfriend. We had serious business to attend to. I had to prepare myself to be strong and feisty and to get some answers and break my own heart if necessary.

I was surprised and a little confused when Reno pulled into the parking lot for the notoriously expensive, swanky, you-have-to-make-reservations-four-months-in-advance restaurant La Jolie. Maybe he just wanted to give me an incredible last meal out of pity or something. Whatever his reasons, we were both definitely dressed for the venue, although I have to admit, I was totally the hotter one in the relationship at that moment in time.

My confusion continued to mount as the minutes wore on. Reno was being a perfect gentleman; he opened the car door for me, offering his hand to help me out, proceeded to rest said hand in the small of my back as we made our way towards La Jolie's entrance. He even went so far as to press a quick kiss to my forehead! Nothing was making sense anymore, but I was still dead set on the idea that he wanted me to break up with him. Maybe he was changing him mind? I had no clue, but I really did not appreciate being flip-flopped around on.

Entering the restaurant, we were escorted to a small table in the very back corner, complete with velvet curtains that could be drawn around for privacy. Maybe Reno was afraid of me making a scene or something, so he made sure we'd be out of sight and mostly out of earshot of the rest of the patrons. Ha. He obviously had _no_ idea what decibels I could reach if and when I really wanted to. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Yet Reno's odd behavior continued. He pulled my chair out for me, giving my shoulder a squeeze before moving to his side of the table and sitting down. His posture was good, not his normal, casual slouch. My body had gone on the defensive; every fiber of me seemed to vibrate as if I were about to head into a battle. I stared Reno down from across the table.

"What's going on." It was not a question, oh no. The Great Ninja Yuffie was stalking her prey. I did not ask polite questions when my boyfriend had been playing mind games for three weeks, I demanded answers.

"What do you mean, Princess?" His face was the picture of innocence and I didn't trust it one teeny, tiny bit.

"Don't give me that look, Reno. The past three weeks you have been so weird, avoiding me like I have Geostigma one week and then all this the next? What gives?" My tone was calm, even. The Great Ninja Yuffie, cornering her prey.

But he just shook his head and smiled. It wasn't even a smirk, but a genuine, nice smile. "Can't a guy just take his beautiful girlfriend out for a nice dinner every once in a while? But really, I'll explain everything later, Yuffs, I promise."

What. The. Flaming chocobos. Reno making genuine promises? Calling me beautiful? Not using the word "yo" at all? Something was very, very wrong.

We ordered food, and when it got to the table it was way too delicious for me to keep disturbing myself over how Reno was acting. So I relaxed and enjoyed my dinner and tried to keep the conversation light, all the while trying to push thoughts of our impending breakup from my mind.

I actually found myself having fun with Reno again as we talked over dinner. He was joking with me, laughing with me, making the occasional inappropriate comment and smirking about it. He was, gawd-forbid, giving me _butterflies_ again. How was I supposed to break up with him if he insisted on giving me gawd-forbidden _butterflies_?

There was still irritation bubbling just below my surface, though. He hadn't even begun explaining anything, and we were already halfway through dessert. I was almost afraid to look down at myself, I was so totally sure that my skin would literally be roiling from all the anger bubbles forming and popping and bubbling. I was starting to seethe when he paid the check, walked me back out to the car (he even went as far to open my car door for me _again_) and started to drive off, and there was still no explanation in sight. He must've sensed some of my anger once we started driving, because he flashed a grin at me.

"Calm down, Yuffs. I'm not taking you home yet. There's still plenty of time left tonight for explanations."

I was not really in the mood to calm down, but I figured I should shut up and wait anyway. The air in the car was quiet and tense, and so, to distract myself, I watched out the window to try and figure out where we were headed.

The streets of Edge flew by and I realized we were leaving the city for the open plains around what used to be Midgar. As the moments passed, I could see Kalm in the distance, and the long expanse of beach beyond it. That seemed to be our destination.

Reno parked a little ways from the sand, and helped me out of the car (again!), suggesting I remove my shoes so we could walk in the sand. When we were both suitably barefoot, and Reno had double-cuffed his pants, he took my hand and led me to the water's edge. We strolled for a while, neither of us speaking and that icky feeling in the pit of stomach came back in full force. Reno's grip on my hand was tight; he was nervous. So was I, for that matter, but—being the awesomest ninja in the whole universe, I would never let that show. Honestly, hadn't they taught Reno anything in Turk school?

ANYWAY, his nervousness made my worrying get even worse and even though I was all ickmehblehugh and hyperventilating on the inside, on the outside I just pretended I was taking a nice night stroll on the beach with my boyfriend, who I wasn't about to break up with.

And then I just got upset. He had promised me answers, had promised me explanations and had then put it off and off and off! I was sick of waiting for the other shoe to drop so I was just going to take that stupid shoe (which was probably a croc anyway, 'cause those are like the most stupid shoes EVER) and throw it down myself.

I abruptly stopped walking. Reno turned to me with surprise on his face and looked as if he might've been about to say something, but I started talking before he could get a word out.

"Okay, Reno. I think I get it. So, before this night gets any more nerve-wracking and worry-full, I'm just gonna do what we both know needs to be done."

"Yuffie, what are you—"

"SHUT. UP. I am so SICK of you saying you're going to explain things, then not doing it, and so now you have lost your explaining privileges! I know you want to break up Reno, and I also know you ended up being too chicken to do it yourself so FINE. I'll do it for you if that's what you really want. We're DONE!"

I was livid and breathing heavy and probably looked like hell and then all of a sudden I heard an unexpected sound. A high-pitched screeching, followed by a big _crack!_ And suddenly the beach was flooded with green light. Fireworks….

And Reno was looking at me with disbelief written all over his face and then he just started laughing and pulled me to him in a death-grip embrace.

"Yuffie, my beautiful, moronic girlfriend, I don't want to break up with you." He released me but only so much so that he could kiss me deeply. Now I was the disbelieving one. But he started talking again as soon as his lips left mine.

"Yuffie, you're the feistiest, most beautiful and ridiculous girl I've ever met. And while I sometimes think you're a lunatic, like right now, I can't live without your hyperactive, psychotic little self in my life. And so…. You silly, silly ninja…" And he was getting down on one knee and I could see his grinning face illuminated by the exploding fireworks and he was reaching into his pocket and pulling out a tiny box and it was my turn to be disbelieving and then, "Will you marry me?"

My mind went blank. How could I have possibly missed this? But there was only one answer I had for him: "OHMYGAWD, _**DUH**__!" _

And as soon as that ring, a beautiful platinum thing set with a round, canary diamond like a command materia, was on my finger I tackled him into the sand and kissed every inch of his face I could reach, paying special attention to his lips of course.

X.X.X.X.X

It turned out that all the shady phone calls and stuff had been to get the planning for the proposal in order. I guess Reno had to call in a bunch of favors in order to get us the dinner reservation, and getting fireworks just for you and your girlfriend doesn't seem like something you can just throw together without making a few phone calls.

Tifa had known the whole time, too. She just let me go on my crazy rampage because, since I'm Yuffie, it's hard to talk me out of a crazy rampage when I'm dead set on being on one. Oh well. Everything worked out in the end, and that's all that matters! …Right?

The wedding's gonna be next summer I think. Reno and I have some making up to do, especially after I spent one week being avoided by him, another being pissed at him and a third planning on how to break up with him. See what happens when people worry?

I'm still not big on worry. It's still not really been my thing, ya know? But I guess… sometimes… there are upsides to uncertainty.

_.Fin._

* * *

AN: I started this after I was on a huge Rikku/Gippal fanfic reading kick, so if Yuffie sounds a little bit like Rikku at times, that's probably why. Just something fun I thought up when I was bored XD Review if you liked it! Review if you hated it! Review if you have nothing better to do and feel like brightening my day! Until then... Peace out, homies. And remember: make shenanigans, not war.


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